Yes, It’s Okay for Married Women To Give Single Women Advice

If you’re single and lovin’ it, then Ciara’s words should be a jewel

It's Ericajean


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Yes, if you are married you can certainly still root for and encourage single women. Last month, Ciara released, “For Da girls” where she advocated single women not needing men and gave a shout out to those women who love themselves.

In the lyrics, she says,

This is for the girls getting money (Ayy)
This is for the girls who don’t need no man
This is for the girls who love yourself
This is for all the girls who up and did it by thеmselves
This is for all the girls that’s I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T
This is for all thе girls that be livin’ stress-free
This is for all the girls on a mission like me — Lyrics from

That’s just half the song, but when I read those words I realized something…

This married woman knows her worth.

I’m sure Ciara, is all about keeping her income up, I’m sure she is not someone who NEEDS a man but yes, she does have one, and they seem to be in love and have a great marriage.

As a married woman, I am quite confident Ciara is still her own self, with normal stressors that most people face every day, and I am positive she is still on her mission — whatever that may be.

A ring on the finger does not stop your personality nor should it stop you from your mission.

I believe some women were hurt by this message from Ciara for two reasons: One, they see she is in a position they want, which is marriage with stability, and two — her lyrics is like a smack to the face because isn’t she being hypocritical? What would Russell think?

Envy is green and hungry.

For those who were upset with Ciara’s song, please understand that Ciara is an artist. Before she met Future and her future husband, she was C-I-A-R-A. As an artist she will sing all kinds of songs for a particular demographic. Who’s to say she was not singing for women who are already single and who are not actively seeking a man? She was in their corner.



It's Ericajean

Essayist and poet| Author of Rumors of Ouroboros and Sea of Iron Hands.