Here Are My Softer Reasons For Being Childfree

Social media gives us “harsh” repetitive reasons for not having kids, let me give a fresher, benign perspective

It's Ericajean


Photo by Ron Lach

from the womb they come
heavy blessings from above —
teary nights and stubbed toes

Many are offering very hard opinions as to why they do not want children. I want to offer my “soft” opinion on the matter with(hopefully) zero offenses occurring.

I’m a bit lazy…

First of all, my laziness is astounding. I tip my hat off to people who can get up at the crack of dawn because baby says so. I heard that even my own mom was too tired sometimes to get me when I would cry, and my dad would be the one to coddle me.

I like sleeping in on weekends and not having to fix breakfast immediately. I like not having to plan outings for afterschool and weekends and then Summers. I am way too relaxed for that. I certainly DO plan, but having children requires planning an awful lot.

having children is just not conducive to my financial planning

I’m a bit too thrifty…

I’m kind of thrifty. This means I like to save (maybe not when it comes to books), but I am at a time in my life where I enjoy seeing my money “grow”. My husband and I already lost so much during our struggle many years ago and it feels good to accumulate, save, and not worry. Having a baby right now will steal that from us. Back to school shopping, extra doctor bills, taking them to parks or paying babysitters, etc. etc .— yikes!

I guess, those who have kids and are saving at the same time, are the real MVPs because in today’s world we have to work hard and save just as much. In other words, having children is just not conducive to my financial planning.

Patience has run thin…

Patience has been worn thin since my 30s. The Pandemic has really caused people to reconsider the stresses in their life and whether to include more burdens. I hate to say children are burdens so let’s just called them heavy blessings.



It's Ericajean

Essayist and poet| Author of Rumors of Ouroboros and Sea of Iron Hands.